stop running.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

We chase pretty like it's something you can buy. Redder lips, bigger eyes, smaller thighs, a trendier haircut, the new outfit you'd sell your fav pair of shoes for. It becomes part of a marathon we run all our lives, going round and round the track instead of sprinting. We circle. We gain ground and fall back. And we're passerbys in other's races, other's runs. We spur them on. We tear them down. We get left behind with broken laces and aching feet. We get shin splints and finally break in our shoes and trip and fall and waste our energy chasing something that doesn't matter. We have the wrong finish line for our destination. There is no ribbon fluttering triumphant red to break through, because we were never supposed to chase these mile markers in the first place.

What is pretty?

Pretty is reading one more book to a three year old who sits, sticky fingers and messy hair in your lap. Pretty is waking up at three in the morning because your best friend's heart is breaking and she needs to talk, and if her soul aches, yours does too. Pretty is making breakfast for your family before you go, loading the dishes just because, brewing another cup of coffee for your mom. Pretty is telling people they are beautiful and meaning it, pretty is listening and not interrupting, pretty is laughing because you can. Pretty is giving grace and loving deeply even when it doesn't help you and pretty is allowing yourself to dream even though your heart has been broken. Pretty is buying lunch for a friend and sending little gifts to cheer others up, pretty is remembering details about people and investing in their lives. Pretty is dressing with grace for yourself not dictated by the culture. Pretty is knowing that even when you're in the middle of a bad hair day, breakout, day when you feel less than lovely, that you are beautiful. Pretty is seeing the good in other people and helping to bring it out. Pretty is adventuring and saying no to things and saying yes to better things. Pretty is making the daily mundane into small adventures and finding good in the ordinary moments. Pretty is lending a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Pretty is doing what you love and being nice to people, pretty is taking time to breathe, pretty is a joyful spirit and a thankful heart. Pretty is remembering how to play and pretty is living a life of whimsy and pretty is taking risks and being bold with your life. Pretty is being honest and brave with your story and pretty is being confident in who you are and loving yourself and forgiving yourself. Pretty is not a nose job, ankle tuck, mascara swipe, or new pair of jeans. Pretty is who you are.

Stop running a race to chase something that is an echo.
Listen.
You were made to dance.

16 comments:

  1. gah. love these words. such a good reminder for all of us. :)

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  2. oh gosh. this. this makes me cry and smile all at the same time.

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  3. my heart just (literally) sank deeper into my soul; it nested itself and sang and fluttered and danced and whispered and cried. and i cried and i bawled. hannah nicole, thank you. thank you. thank you for these words.


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  4. This is so so true. I usually think that I'm fairly confident in my looks, but this is so much more. I want to be pretty like this. I want to be the one who is worthy. This is so much more than looks, and I know I often put so much into looks, and then I'm rude, and that's just a terrible thing. I'm so so blessed to have such an honest soul in my life. love you hannah girl.

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  5. You continue to crazy bless me with your beautiful, true, real words. You know how to write my dear. Crying and smiling and messy dancing happening over here. :)

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  6. I love that last part.
    "Stop running a race to chase something that is an echo.
    Listen.
    You were made to dance."
    Oh, yes I was. I love this little blog of yours, Hannah. Your words are so wonderful.

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  7. Thank you so much, these words are incredible and comforting and just what I needed to hear.

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  8. mm, this. this is perfect. your words are such a blessing, friend. xx

    ( the alcove )

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  9. This was insanely beautiful. Hannah, you are such an amazing writer. You are an inspiration to many! YOU, my dear, are pretty.

    <3

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  10. this speaks to my heart. thank you. i needed this today.

    -carli

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  11. Oh Hannah. Your words spoke to my heart and made me want to cry. This is so true and so encouraging. Thank you. Thank you for your heart, for consantly being an encouragement and inspiration to others. You bless me tremendously.

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  12. I love it. It's like reinventing the word 'pretty'. Instead of indicating our weight, hair, face and clothes, 'pretty' describes the goodness of our hearts.

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  13. I like this, Hannah :)
    Maybe rather than reinventing the word pretty, we just need to choose different words altogether? Instead of claiming those six letters as our only compliment, what if we started calling each other clever? Or complemented our friends on their eye for pulling together outfits, or picking the perfect colours for a painting? I have never been called pretty -- I imagine it's nice, but isn't it nicer to be complimented for what you have control over? Pretty, in the sense of it being 'Redder lips, bigger eyes, smaller thighs' isn't something you create for yourself. It's just the luck of the draw and the make-up of your DNA. But you can teach yourself pattern-mixing, and learn to write poetry, and train to run a 5k, and work hard to get together the money for university, and study well for your Biology exams. And wouldn't it be so much more wonderful, a much deeper and genuine compliment, to be told you have a good eye, or a good rhythm, a strong body. That you are hard working and motivated? To me, all those things seem so much more wonderful than pretty.
    And goodness knows, I stand in front of the mirror every day, turn my head just so, and wish I was pretty. I fix my make up in the toilets at lunchtime and I suck in my stomach and I spend my last £10 on a pair of earrings instead of a book to be pretty. But it's not working, it has never worked, and it will never work.
    I think in my heart of hearts, I know that I don't want to be pretty -- or at least, I don't only want to be pretty. I want to be strong, and kind, and smart. And I am a teenager, and I am insecure, and I will gather up all the compliments I can with open hands. I would never refuse being called pretty. But that doesn't stop me thinking about the kind of compliment that I would like best.
    Pretty has, to me at least, always seemed kind of shallow. It isn't beauty, not really. It's a fleeting mask of something nearly beautiful, but not genuinely so.
    Everything you listed there? To me, that is beautiful. It's deep, it's flawed, it's human. And it's beautiful. It's so much more than pretty.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that pretty is only so much, and we don't need to reinvent it. We just need to start using different words, more meaningful ones. Sincere compliments, not just the easiest.
    I am still figuring out my thoughts on this, and just thinking out loud here...

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  14. beautiful hannie, I definitely needed this today. But really I need it everyday, when I'm disappointed as I look at the scale or when my favorite pants fit a little looser and I'm happy. I loved the last line the most, I'm so ready to not run after pretty but to stop and be pretty where I am. Love you <3
    xoxo,
    mads

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  15. This was definitely something I needed to read right now.
    Thanks.

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