Sunday, September 30, 2012

life is so exciting.

joy joy joy

Saturday, September 29, 2012

i am full of joy
joy that the Lord is working in my life and changing my heart
joy that I have a family who loves me unconditionally (even on days when I am less than pleasant to be around)
joy that i have a passion and a dream and a career that i love and am blessed to do
joy that God is providing so mightily and in ways i could never have even imagined
joy that Jesus is planting seeds in my heart for the future
joy that i have friends who love me, are there for me, laugh with me, pray for me, and who will say the hard things i need to hear.
joy that i am loved and redeemed and whole because of Jesus
joy joy joy

i'm a wedding photographer // part one of my story

Thursday, September 27, 2012

i just booked a wedding in march.

and i am so so so excited.

not only because i'm going to be shooting another wedding (but that's part of it!!!)

but because the couple gets it

they get that the wedding is about the marriage. they get that it's about the people. the celebration and joy and beauty that two people are becoming one and are choosing to love each other every day for the rest of their lives. they get that at the end of the day, it's not the dinner, the cake, the venue, the flowers, the dress, the reception, or the details, but it's a story. about how a boy met a girl and they fell in love and decided to stay in love forever.

commitment. love. joy. celebration. honesty. beauty.

telling their story. the meaning behind it. the depth behind the details and the honesty in each and every smile, laugh, tear.

they resonate and clicked and connected with my work and are excited for me to be shooting their day. they said they feel blessed but really, i just feel crazy blessed.

weddings have been on my heart for so long and it's been my dream to be a wedding photographer pretty much since i picked up a camera. my dream at twelve was to shoot a wedding at fifteen or sixteen, something i scribbled in journals and wished and hoped for nearly every day. and God opened so many doors and i was able to shoot tom + camila's wedding five days after i turned sixteen.

last year at this time, i had no plans for wedding photography in the future. i had limited equipment and had done a few shoots, mostly for family or friends. i knew nothing about running a business or shooting a wedding and was hopelessly lost with some technical things about photography (okay, so i still obviously don't know everything and ALWAYS want to keep learning, but i laugh at all of my so-called knowledge last year :) ). i was inexperienced and naive and a dreamer. and i am SO glad i was a dreamer.

i've always always always been a dreamer and a planner, but i want to learn to be more of a do-er. i'm through-time and i'm always looking to the next thing, be that tomorrow, next week, or next year. i'm always planning and prepping and wondering and dreaming about what could happen. and so while wedding photography was on my heart, it was something i dismissed as a distant future.

it's so funny because (literally), a week before tom and camila face booked me about doing their engagement pictures, i was talking with my mom as we drove down to tria to check out my ankle (that's another story entirely) about a wedding question i had received. a friend face booked me and asked if i did weddings and i said no. and i told my mom, "i'd love to do weddings but i can't until i second-shoot for awhile, and i at least need this and this and this, and i just wouldn't feel confident until all that was accomplished."

(i just want to interject here and laugh about where i was at. God has a sense of humor, that's for sure. :) )

aaaaaand then...Tom and Camila face booked me. I had seen their engagement announcement on Facebook and thought, "oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh my gosh." i was so excited and could barely contain my joy for THEM! and i dreamed about doing their engagement pictures. i tucked the dream away and tried to forget about it but couldn't stop thinking about how much i wanted to shoot them.

i went on Facebook and the little message box said one and i clicked it and my heart stopped beating for a second.  crazy chills. happy tears. laughter that bubbled in my heart and stopped in my throat and i could have danced around because i was so excited.

tom and camila gave me a chance. to shoot their engagement. and to shoot their wedding. they believed in me and wanted me to shoot their wedding. that they knew i would do a good job and wanted me their for their day. their belief was so good for my heart and it pushed me to do a better job, to work harder and learn more and do the absolute best i could do for them, because i loved them and wanted to give them images that would last. photos that would matter. pictures that would be a legacy, that they could pull out and show their children and grandchildren someday and tell the story about their wedding. "when your grandma walked down the aisle, i couldn't stop smiling." "as soon as i saw your daddy, i was instantly calm and joyful and all the weight was lifted from my shoulders."

that's what matters. and that's what i wanted to give and want to always give with my photos.

and in the past year, i've had couple shoots, senior shoots, engagement shoots, kiddo shoots, family shoots, and a wedding. i traveled to texas and interned with jessica shae and also shot jessica and josh's engagement photos. i saved and bought my mkii and a nifty fifty. i purchase lr4 + vsco (favorite ever) and upgraded to cs6. i was blessed to be able to get a macbook. i learned about pricing and set up contracts. i learned about the business and technical side, and learned the ins and outs of my camera and learned and googled and learned and learned and learned so much i felt like my brain would burst (i did have a few headaches last year... ;) ). and there are even more exciting plans (if that's even possible) in the works.


seriously. i have been so in awe of all that God has done in my life. i'm so humbled by how the Lord has worked in my heart and my life. not just healing past hurts and fears, but also blessing me beyond belief. and the craziest part is, the Lord blesses us because he loves us. BECAUSE HE LOVES US. how crazy amazing is that?

i am in no way bragging. i hesitate to talk about things like this because i don't want to come across conceited or self-important. i've been learning to trust God and to believe Him and to move with faith and CONFIDENCE. learning to dream big dreams and to pray big prayers and to live boldly. and it's been hard, because the end result wasn't always there, but He has always been there. He is my rock and Sovereign and King and Provider and I believe Him. i've been overwhelmed with all the doors and opportunities that i've  been given, but i've also worked hard. i've sacrificed things and prayed a ton and journaled and chose to step forward in faith even though it seemed impossible. and God has worked miracles (seriously miracles) in my heart and my life.

and so this is for me. because i am so THANKFUL with all the Lord has done in my heart and in my life. i am so thankful for the doors He's opened, the trust He's built in me, the dreams He's given me. I am so thankful for the opportunities He's blessed and the seemingly impossible dreams that have been made a reality. i am so thankful.

one tin soldier

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

my dad used to sing this song to my sister and i before bedtime. sometimes he would sing only a few stanzas, and chloe and i would beg him to sing the whole thing. i can still remember leaning back into my pillows listening to him sing it slow and soft.

one of my favorite memories.

and i love the song.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
for as long as ever you can.

John Wesley

to be a mama

Saturday, September 22, 2012

i can't wait to be a mama someday. a mama to kiss and cuddle and comfort my own littles, to protect them and pray over them, and to tickle and laugh with them. i can't wait to make forts with them and have blueberry pancake mornings and play silly games and stay up late watching movies. i dream of braiding their hair (or spiking it for my someday little boys :)) and tucking them into bed at night and reading them stories and getting messy painting pictures and going on adventures with my little family.

i am praying for my future husband
for my future children
for my future family

and i am so excited. to me, there is no greater career than to be a mama .

grasp this wildly extravagant life gift.

Friday, September 7, 2012

"Yet the rescuing gift is not exactly parallel to the death-dealing sin. If one man’s sin put crowds of people at the dead-end abyss of separation from God, just think what God’s gift poured through one man, Jesus Christ, will do! There’s no comparison between that death-dealing sin and this generous, life-giving gift. The verdict on that one sin was the death sentence; the verdict on the many sins that followed was this wonderful life sentence. If death got the upper hand through one man’s wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?" - Romans 5:15-17


Thursday, September 6, 2012

little one
you walk on tiptoes
daring the world to say hello
daring the world to say no,
freckles paint your face
splatters of pigments so perfectly
placed, and i watch
your lashes open close open close
as you take in the world with
wonder. your eyes are
painted seventy two shades
of blue and the sky
is jealous seeing the cool
morning snowing pale
light, frosted like an
eggshell, in your irises.
little one, you take in the
world with wide open breaths
and dare it to say hello,
dare it to say no,
i am so blessed
to be your sister.

an introduction of sorts.


if you're reading this, welcome to my new little, personal space. i've had a tumblr for a few months now, but it's gotten to be too much. i'm exhausted with trying to keep up and stay on top of social media. i'm bone weary with popularity games and fads and the new biggest and best thing. i'm tired of ingesting image after image or word after word and not digesting. intaking so much noise and media and information and thinking it's inspiration, when instead it's just like eating candy. buckets and buckets and mounds and mounds and vats and vats of candy.

all i've ended up with is a stomach ache and a taste for something real. whole.

i want to live life to the FULL (john 10:10). with God-given fullness of joy. delighting in Him. living (really living) a life that matters.

i'm tired of things that are meaningless. i'm tired of wasting time on things that don't matter. i want my life to matter and what i do to matter, because i'm living my life for the only one who matters. i want to be inspired be real life. i want to live a full rich life, so that when i'm at the end of my days i can hold out empty hands and say, "Lord, I've used all that you gave me up."

pinterest, twitter, tumblr, flickr, Facebook, blogger, google+, email, instagram, blogs, websites.

there is so much noise in this world.

my heart yearns for a quiet place.

somewhere i can share photos
somewhere i can share words
somewhere i can share what's on my heart

a quiet place where i don't have to worry about what people will think.


i want this to be a small, still, quiet place. no pressure.

so. let's start with beginnings.

my name is hannah.

you can call me hannie-girl.

i love classical music.

i don't like being late.

i still can't drive (and that's okay).

i should eat better, but i love ice cream too much.

i write and photograph and play piano and sing.

i am tired of fakiness and popularity games and trendy fads.

i just want to be me.

i love Jesus and am learning to love him more everyday.

i am a fan of coffee but tea is my favorite. and don't even get me started with chai.

i can't wait to be a wife and mom someday.

i want to make art that matters. i want to take photos that matter. i want my photos to be an honest reflection of real life, imperfect as they are, imperfect as it is. a small and true story of a deeper story.

i like red lipstick and i used to have really long hair but i cut it shorter now.

i love my family and i love my friends and i am so grateful and so blessed.